Friday, June 13, 2003

Customer service

I just received an e-mail that the PC I ordered on Wednesday afternoon has been shipped. I'm impressed with Dell so far.

Update: They will be delivering on Tuesday. I'm now very impressed.

Look who's stalking

Due to popular demand (from Andy) another one for my blog list over there is "Whats doing". Now will you and your nerdy mate please stop making sport out of my feeble attempts to learn Java, I'm only on chapter two you know. If I'm still on chapter two next week feel free.


Worth a read

New additions to my blogs list over there on the right, no, your right not mine.

Happy birthday...

Happy birthday to you,
Squashed tomatoes and stew
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too.

To my lovely niece Natalie who is thirteen today.

What we need is a Multi-Tier outside the box paradigm

What we really need is a Phrase-O-Matic (written in Java of course)...

public class PhraseOMatic {

public static void main (string[] args) {

// Create three arrays of words.
String[] wordListOne = {"24/7", "Multi-Tier", "30,000 foot", "B-to-B", "win-win", "front-end", "web-based", "pervasive", "smart", "six-sigma",
"critical path", "dynamic"};

String[] wordListTwo = {"empowered", "sticky", "value-added", "oriented", "centric", "distributed", "clustered", "branded", "outside-the-box", "positioned", "networked", "focused", "leveraged", "aligned", "targeted", "shared", "cooperative", "accelerated"};

String[] wordListThree = {"process", ""tipping-point", "solution", "architecture", "core competency", "strategy", "mindshare", "portal", "space", "vision", "paradigm", "mission"};

//Determine length of each array.
int oneLength = wordListOne.length;
int twoLength = wordListTwo.length;
int threeLength = wordListThree.length;

//Generate three random numbers within the scope of each list.
int rand1 = (int) (math.random() * oneLength);
int rand2 = (int) (math.random() * twoLength);
int rand3 = (int) (math.random() * threeLength);

// Build a phrase.
String phrase = wordListOne[rand1] + " " + wordListTwo[rand2] + " " + wordListThree[rand3];

//Print the phrase.
System.out.println ("What we need is a " + phrase);
}
}

I didn’t think this up myself, it’s an exercise from my “Head First Java” book and it's all starting to make sense to me. I’m going to enjoy learning Java.

Note: I’m meeting the human version of the Phrase-O-Matic (otherwise know as Napoleon to his friends) for beers this evening.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

My fellow Americans

Homer Simpson set to be voted greatest American.

All together now (to the tune of “The Star Spangled Banner” )...

D’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’ooooh!
D’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’ooooh!
D’oh d’oh d’ooooh, d’oh d’oh d’oh!
D’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh d’oh!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream ...

... except this lady.

Mmmmmmm

I have just had a spectacular ice cream from Thorntons, one scoop each of special chocolatey chocolate and mint (with choc chips). Well, I’ve got to watch my figure haven’t I?

Learning Java

I started reading a new teach yourself Java book last night, Head First Java by Kathy Sierra and Bert Bates. I only had time for the introduction and about half of the first chapter (I had to mow the lawn, play kicky ball and eat steak) but I reckon that this is the book for me. The authors’ starting point is that the human brain is very good at learning important stuff like “tigers are dangerous”, but not very good at learning what it considers to be unimportant like 1,000 pages of a teach yourself Java book. The style is very friendly, informal and conversational. They use cognitive science, neurobiology, and educational psychology techniques to present the same information in many different ways. Text, pictures, stories, humour, puzzles and exercises are designed to drum the information into you. You have to work to get at it but they make it fun to do so, in fact the first program to be written is a variation on the “ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall” song. I’ll keep you posted on my journey from “Spring Chicken” to “Java Shitehawk”. If I don’t get that far I’ll teach you the words to the song instead.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Lunch

Real men eat two sandwiches (spicy sausage salad and smoked salmon and cream cheese) plus a bag of Walkers Thai Sweet Chilli crisps.

Nerd flash....Nerd flash....Nerd flash....Nerd flash....Nerd flash

As Simon quite rightly pointed out, I may have some nerds reading this so my new PC will be as follows...

Dell Dimension 4600 Midnight grey mini-tower
Intel Pentium 4 Processor 2.66GHz
512MB DDR 333 (2X256MB DIMM)
60GB IDE Hard Drive (7200 rpm)
8 USB 2.0 ports
3 PCI slots and AGP 8x slot
Intergrated 10/100 Pro Ethernet Network Card
Dell 15" (15.0" VIS) Analogue Flat Panel Monitor
16MB ATI Rage Pro 128 Video Card
48x DVD/CD-ReWriter Combo Drive
Logitech Cordless Keyboard and Mouse

Now I’ll sit back and wait for the “you don’t want one of those, you need one like mine” comments.

New PC

Finally ordered a new PC from Dell. Now let’s see how good they really are at customer service.

Phwoar

I wonder if the Cheeky Girls would come round and paint my bathroom.

Update: Better still, I wonder if they would come round and let me paint them. They would need to be stripped and rubbed down first of course. Cheeky Girls Stripped, that should do something for my stats.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Race for life

A group of around ninety four young ladies from work are planning to do the “Race for Life 2003” on 20th July in Southampton. It is a 5km run in aid of Cancer research. I felt that I should help, so I have volunteered to offer a free lathering to anyone who needs one in the showers afterwards.

Well, it’s for chiridy after all.

Junk mail

Thanks to Chris for bringing my attention to the nice people at MPS Online who will reduce the amount of junk mail you get.

Please forward this to at least fifty of your friends.

Monday, June 09, 2003

Well I declare

I have just worked through the Dell website to see what PC configuration I can get for my money. It looks like a damned fine deal, very well spec'd PC with bells and whistles for a very reasonable price. I was amused by the following question in the customer details section of the ordering process.

Q4. Will the product(s) be used in connection with weapons of mass destruction, i.e. nuclear applications, missile technology, or chemical or biological weapons purposes?

What happens if you say “yes”? Even better, what happens if you say "no" but should have said "yes"?

A social life

We gotta babysitter, we went out on Saturday night, life is good.

They grow up so fast

I’m not sure that I’m quite ready for this but Sam has suddenly started calling me Dad. What happened to Daddy? Will he be calling me Father by this time next week?

Linked

I seem to have collected a new link over the weekend so it’s a big fat hello to Robo Racer who has a problem with a 50 year old dyke and a giant pile of ironing. Anyone out there have any experience with ironing 50 year dykes? Sorry, can’t come to the pub tonight I’ve got to iron my dyke.