Whoosh! Fek!

A novelty round of golf has just been arranged for Tuesday afternoon. Four of us from work are planning to hack our way around Southampton Municipal Golf Course in fine style. I haven’t played in over a year, and to be fair, I’m crap. Tad played last weekend but confides that he’s crap. Tony and Paul haven’t played for years, they’re crap too. So, if you’re interested in having a laugh at the Keystone Kops golf afternoon, we tee of at 3:26 precisely and should be about half way down the first fairway by 5:00pm.

Cheeky Girls, Creaky Girls

Big thanks must go to Beris who has added a most amusing comment to a post from a couple of weeks ago. Never liked him.

Today I are mostly being having the Michael extracted!

By my colleague Suzi for thinking that cockney rhyming slang for "chin" was "Errol Flynn". By most of my other colleagues for telling Suzi to “knob off”. By my Sith Efrikan colleague Robin for misspelling “Voetsek”, which is Afrikaans for something similar to "knob off". By Jann “Mr Smug” for misspelling his name (got it right this time Jann) and for my previous post.

Anyone else want to jump on the band wagon? We could make it international take the p*ss out of that nice Steve Rose day. C’mon, have a go, it’s open season, what are ya waiting for?

And they gnashed their terrible teeth, and they took up all the bed

We had the teething fairy again last night. Sam ended up in our bed at 4:00am. We have a massive iron bedstead; you could easily get three adults in it. That is if I could persuade Cathy, and if Shania Twain was free that evening. So, why does one little two and a half year old boy take up almost all the bed, leaving mum balancing on one edge of the mattress and dad on the other? And why does he keep kicking me in the goolies? And why does he finally settle down five minutes before I have to get up?

Quote of the day

From my colleague and drinking buddy Tad, talking about himself.

“I’m a man of quantity, not quality!”

Anyone who knows Tad will agree with this. Anyone who doesn’t know him will have gained an insight into the inner workings of the man.

Bit tired today

We had a visit from the teething monster between four am and time to get up this morning.

PC up and running

So, opened the boxes followed the destructions and there it was, all assembled in around thirty minutes with much assistance from Sam.

Scratching

I was heading along the A272 last night at a fairly reasonable clip when a wildman on a Suzuki GSXR 1000 came flashing past me as though I was standing still. I don’t ride slowly. He turned and gave me a massive “thumbs up” signal before disappearing around the next bend at extremely high speed. He was obviously having a great time and he obviously didn’t give a toss about trivial laws such speed limits, solid white lines and physics. I caught up with him a couple of times when he was slowed down to double figure speeds by traffic, but as soon as a fraction of a fraction of opportunity showed itself he was off like greased lightning again. He was fast, he was reckless, he was skilful, he was smooth, he could ride his bike but he was dangerous. I’m torn between Steve “the track day rider” appreciation of his skill and daring, and Steve “the advanced motorcyclist” condemnation of his lack of social conscience. There are times and places for that kind of riding. Rockingham Raceway on a track day is one, the Isle of Man TT is another, the Nurburgring is another, but the A272 at 5:30pm on a Tuesday is not.

Win-Win leveraged architecture

New Software Helps Leverage the Paradigm. In other words, they’ve deveoped some bullshit detection software. Can’t wait to see what the marketing department comes up with.

Nerd news ... Nerd news ... Nerd news ... Nerd news ... Nerd news ... Nerd news ...

Dell have delivered my PC, on time, as promised. I can feel a complimentary letter coming on. I have to wait until I get home, play kicky ball, give Sam his bath, read “Green Eggs and Ham”, “Too many Daves” and the one about the “ghostly pale green pants with nobody inside ‘em” and put the him to bed before I can open the boxes and stand there scractching my head for a couple of hours. Still no great rush eh!

Gravel rashness

I love riding my motorcycle, particularly in this beautiful warm weather. I’m now down to a single thin base layer of clothing underneath my leathers compared to around seven layers during winter, what a pleasure. I cringe every time I see a biker (or scooter rider) wearing inadequate protection, tee shirts, shorts, sandals, no gloves and so on. It might look and feel cool but what about self preservation guys? Seventy miles per hour + granite chip + naked skin = ambulance ride!

Oh and by the way, why do the bugs always splatter on your visor directly in front of your eyes in mid corner?

Update: Another few weeks and I'll be down to a G String and a Spiky Bra.

A really nice day...

...was had by this blogger (and his family) yesterday. We went to the local fete at the school where Sam will start playgroup in September. I took Sam on the giant inflatable slide which he launched himself down without a second thought, we had ice creams we bought water pistols and raffle tickets and we looked around the school. It’s a lovely little village school with a really nice community feel to it. It’s about a hundred metres from our front door and both Cathy and I got a really good feeling about the while thing. The facilities are fantastic, well equipped classrooms and library, a nice big playground, a playing field, loads of big shady trees; they even have a small maze for the kids to play in.

We then retired to our garden with some new friends and their three daughters for cold beers and playing in the paddling pool. It wasn’t long until the water pistols came out and I had to revert to my close quarter battle training to save myself from a serious soaking, which I got anyway. Note to self, get better water pistols.

And, to complete the day, we won the raffle. Ninety quids worth of vouchers for different family type activities in the local area.

It was, as the Americans would say, “a keeper”.

Mornin’ Mister Magpie

We were woken by a quiet but very persistent knocking sound this morning at around 5:00am. First I thought it was Sam awake and playing in his room but then I realised that the sound was coming from the bathroom. I went to investigate, there was a magpie sitting on the windowsill, just a tapping out a rhythm on the frame.

Old McDonald

Sam in the supermarket the other day, full volume... “Old McDonald had a poo, eee eye eee eye ooooh!”.