To smack or not to smack is in the news at the moment. I have relevant experience both of being smacked as a child and of being a parent of a “terrible two”. Here’s my view on the subject of smacking.
I have no doubt that my mother loved me but, as a boy, I used to be smacked for the slightest reason. More often than not, a backhander across the face or a slipper on the arse. My mother was quick draw McGraw with a slipper, the slightest transgression of whatever the rule of the moment was and, in one smooth motion, the slipper would be off of her foot faster than Clint Eastwood drawing his Colt Peacemaker, and be tanning my skinny little arse. Until I left school, I was brow beaten, cursed, lectured, sent to bed in the middle of the day, made to go without supper, made to sit in the corner, made to do chores, ignored. My mother’s anger would go on for days. I was made to feel stupid, inadequate and worthless. There was never any rhyme or reason to it, one day I might be let off a major crime and be hugged, forgiven, told that everyone makes mistakes. The next day I would get a good hiding for the most trivial act of carelessness.
I’m a father now. I’m determined to never do that stuff to my beautiful little boy. I’m his Daddy; he calls my name in the middle of the night as often as he calls for his Mummy. I’m his protector, his teacher, his playmate, his friend, I read him stories, I taught him “The Ning Nang Nong”, we play kicky ball, he goes to sleep on my lap. I would kill anyone who tried to hurt him, so how could I possibly hurt him. No matter what happens, I want him to feel completely safe with me, completely. I want to be the person who he feels that he can run to when the whole world turns to crap. I want him to feel that he can share his thoughts with me and know that I’ll support him. When he’s a man, I want him to come to see me because he wants to, not because he feels that he has a duty. I don’t want to see an entry like this in whatever blogs become in twenty years about me.
I don’t know the correct way to discipline a child; I’m learning that one as I go along. I have first hand experience of the wrong way to do it. For me, there is no debate on whether to smack or not.
