Blogroll entries

A couple of new blogroll entries over there, Burnt Toast and Arrrgh!!!. Go say hi if you haven't already.

Elderly women boost lingerie sales

Well in Chile they do according to this article. Check out the elderly women, I’m off to the Santiago Derby and Joan club for my holidays.

Update: Seems Ananova have edited the story and removed the pictures but I'm sure you get my drift.

Tad on relationships...

Missus: "I fancy a cuddle."
Tad: "Is there a shag in it?"
Missus: "No."
Tad: "No."

Ham, brie, tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, mayo, onions, granary bread etc.

The problem is that you are starving, you have just ordered a sandwich with absolutely everything it and it is bloody impossible to eat without the whole schmeer heading south towards your keyboard and ultimately your crotch.

Hey look...

You can watch the White Stripes "Kate Moss Pole Dancing" video here. I haven’t seen it yet (‘cos I’m at work) but would be very interested in seeing how it compares, artistically of course, to Kylie's Agent Provocateur advert.

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be

Swiss Tony waxes lyrical on the long hot summer of 1976 and how cr4p modern music is. Excluding "Smack my bitch" up by the Prodigy of course.

Soul food

One of the many benefits of being the parent of a toddler is being able to have five fish fingers, chips and peas for your tea.

National Slackers Day

Tomorrow is National Slackers Day so I'll be officially slacking. I'm slacking today unofficially due to far too many pints of lager last night up London to congratulate my friend Steve who has proved that he's not a jaffa.

How big?

SOBIG. I had about fifty of these little buggers in my inbox when I started up my email this morning. Bastards.

Funny munny

It’s amazing what you find in your wallet, I was having a tidy up this morining and found 100 Swiss francs and 40 Euros in the back pocket of my wallet. That’s about £75 in proper money.

Happy birthday to Tilesy...

...reader of neveratossBlog and occasional commentor. He is 24 today and has chosen to celebrate by buying cakes for his colleagues. Well done Tilesy, your colleagues were in the pub drinking beer you big soft pooftah!

A racialist joke guaranteed to upset Aussies and Kiwis.

So, this Aussie bloke married his Kiwi girlfriend and they lived happily on Sydney’s Northern beaches on the dole. When she became pregnant they moved to Auckland because they didn’t want the kid to grow up too lazy to steal.

Hey look

I’ve got something in common with Carmen Electra.

NeveratossLoyaltyScheme

Swiss Tony was my 5,000th visitor (sorry Eloon).

The prize is a pint at lunchtime.

Visitor 5,000...

...is expected shortly. If it is you, leave a comment and you might win a prize.

Update: There is a counter down there on the right.

Consecutive Number Plate Spotting

If I were a Consecutive Number Plate Spotter, which I am not, I would have spotted a 1 on Friday and a 2 on Sunday. The frustrating thing is that I spotted two 3s on Saturday and a 4 this morning which, of course, do not count because they are not consecutive as clearly stipulated in the rules. My next door neighbour has a 17 which would come in handy in the future if I were doing it, which I am not, and had I just spotted a 16, which I have not yet done. But if I were...

Now, where did I put that anorak?

So...

...two old Soldiers are talking rather loudly in the park.

Colonel: "I tell you it is W.O.O.M."
General: "No, it is W.H.O.O.M"
Old Lady: "Gentlemen, I think that you will find that it is W.O.M.B."
Colonel: "Madam, I doubt that you have ever been to Africa and I am almost certain that you have never heard an elephant fart?"

Hey look

Here are some pictures of an attractive Swedish lady wearing lingerie.

Hey look

Here’s a picture of a whale farting.

A very pleasant weekend

My Mother and my nine year old niece Joanne visited us for the weekend. Joanne is a lovely little girl who adores Sam. Sam was of course in his element. We went to West Wittering beach on Saturday which was very enjoyable apart from being ripped off in the only cafe (more on this later, letter to the manager, trading standards, captive audience, rip off Britain etc.). The beach itself is quite nice with good facilities such as life guards, clean toilets and showers. It is a pity that each handful of sand contains at least one cigarette end. Sam decided, suddenly, that he didn’t like the sand anymore after he got soaked in the sea and covered in the stuff so that was the end of that little outing.

On Sunday we took a trip to Marwell Zoological Park and had another nice day. This time we were not ripped off, the £11.00 adult entrance fee is worth every penny. I hate to see caged animals but they have an active breeding program and are working hard to help protect endangered species. They have some mighty fine tigers and snow leopards, some white rhinos, a herd of giraffes and plenty of wasps. A good day out with the family, most of whom snoozed the whole way home.

The highlight of the day for the kids was of course the big bouncy slide.

Joanne wants to come to stay for the whole summer holiday next year, I think that Sam is quite keen too.