It stays early late round here

I'm sitting in an office on a particularly grey December afternoon here in freezing, foggy England. I'm bored beyond belief just waiting for the time to go home - when I say bored, I mean that I'm on the verge of lighting a fart just to break the monotony.

I'm surrounded by people who are all just waiting for 5:00pm to arrive, wishing that they had the cojones to light a fart. They're all desperately keen to be getting the hell out of here. It's tragic in the extreme that we have so many extremely intelligent people who are achieveing nothing, simply pressing the refresh button and waiting for the knocking off buzzer to go.

Fuck 'em, I'm off home!

A big splash

Following his debut in the slapstick carol singing genre of the performing arts, he took his first steps, well strokes, towards Olympic glory by earning his ASA Level One Swimming badge.

Well done Sammy.

We all want some figgy pudding

Cathy and I attended Sam's first Christmas concert yesterday afternoon. I managed not to blub but I did have to give myself the odd mental slap around the face every now and again when my vision became blurred and my bottom lip started trembling. The concert went smoothly apart from a few moments when he dropped his bells and had a little cry.

Apparently, he provided a little added entertainment during rehearsals by falling off the bench he was standing on. Luckily his head broke his fall so he spent part of the morning with an ice pack on his head. This would explain his teacher saying, "Now, back row, c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y stand up on the bench".

Full credit goes to his teacher who somehow managed to co-ordinate three rows of four and five year olds to sing "We wish you a merry Christmas" in rounds (or canons or whatever the musical term is).

It's all me, me, me with me

Every now an again something happens to boost ones ego.

Ve ask ze qvestions

So, Condoleezza Rice denies reports that the US uses the practice of rendition to torture terrorist suspects or deliver them to countries where torture is routine. She wouldn’t be saying that if she was tied to a metal chair with her feet in a bucket of water and a set of jump leads attached to her nipples.