Commuting and walking around London…

…provides heaps of material for blogging. So, let's start with some messages for some of my fellow commuters.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

You are not more important than me, you just think that you are.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Your journey is not more important than mine, you just think that it is. If it were more important than mine there would be flashing blue lights and sirens – This is a distinct possibility.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Pushing in to the ticket queue at the railway station is going to make you unpopular.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Feking around with your iPod/Mobile Phone doesn't excuse you from looking where you’re going.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Feking around with your iPod/Mobile Phone and crossing busy roads should be mutually exclusive activities.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Placing your bag/coat/newspaper on a seat on an overcrowded train doesn't entitle you to two seats.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Tutting when someone asks you to move your bag/coat/newspaper from the spare seat next to you will make you unpopular.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Looking at your feet or a point some some five million miles away whilst walking does not give you the right of way.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Your mobile phone ring tone isn't charmingly amusing – it's annoying. It doesn't define you as a quirky individual, just a knob head!

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

I can hear your iPod.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Your music is crap.

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

You have the whole of London to stand in – I'm standing in this bit so fek off!

Look where you're going you gormless twat!

Have a nice day!

There, that'll do for a start.