Give us the tools and we’ll finish the job

I just watched one of our managers making a cup of tea with a fork. Enough said?

Here’s a good one for a Friday

Apparently, it's physically impossible to lick your own elbow. Unless of course you know different.

Right, sod this...

...I'm off to the pub.

More tea Vicar? No, sod off you robbing twat!

Why does a cup of tea at Woking Station cost £1.09? One tea bag, some very hot water, a dash of milk, a paper cup with a lid and a nice smile from a contemporary, female version of Dick Turpin. There are two issues here. How the hell can a cup of tea, as much a neccessity as oxygen to an Englishman, cost £1.09? Where does the ninepence come from? If they’re going to rip us off why not £1.10 to keep the nuisance value of small change to a minimum.

I know I am, I'm sure I am…

…I am h-a-p-p-y! I sent an email to a company yesterday to tell them what a happy customer I am. I spent my money, got exactly what I wanted and a bit extra. All delivered in a friendly, professional manner. I received a very nice reply today. Everyone is happy, everyone is aware that everyone is happy. Everyone feels good.

Blog gone

A couple of departures from my blog roll. Goodbye and good luck to Dan over at Empty and Elsie of Miss Elaine Neous infamy.

'tis the season

Spotted at lunchtime in the Esher branch of the Oxfam shop. A window display full of Christmas cards, only 181 days to Christmas, get 'em while they're hot. Now, I'm all for supporting chiridy but SOD OFF, Christmas doesn't start until October 1st, everyone knows that.

Falla la la la, la la la laaaaaah!

Tempus fugit

I was chatting to my mother on the phone last night, she reminded me that it's my niece's birthday next week. She's eighteen, how can she possibly be eighteen? It's only five minutes since she was a little baby, why is time going so quickly?

Enough is enough

As a motorcyclist, I would just like to know when it's going to stop feking raining. I blame New Labour, we never had crap weather like this when that nice Mrs Thatcher was in charge.

The top of the pecking order

After completing an intensive training course, this man can look forward to a glittering career in IT Management. Obviously, he will need to complete the seagull management module to brush up on his high level squawking, shitting on people from a great height and grabbing the biggest fish for himself.