Liz Hurley Naked

Well, it got my attention. Thanks to an urgent text message from Swiss Toni, I contrived to lay my hands on a copy of today's Sun. The arts section on Page Three has some tastefully done pictures of the delightful Elizabeth Hurley naked (good for a few extra hits I should think). It turns out that today is her 40th birthday and in my humble opinion she ain't lookin' too shabby for it. As her number one fan, I hope that I look as good as her when I reach 40 (and if I do I shall be spending the day in the shower with a soap on a rope). I suppose that I should nip around to her place and mark the occasion by giving her the bumps!

The problem management problem

Here is an actual extract from our defects database…

"It is perhaps worth mentioning that when this defect was originally opened and later when re-opened both occasions had their tested agreements later working, without any known fix put into place."

Well, now that you've explained it so clearly we should be able to fix it.

Tempus fugit

Sam received a letter yesterday from the headmistress of the local primary school telling him which class he will be in and who his teacher will be when he starts in September. How did that happen? Last time I looked he was just a little baby, I turned my back for a few minutes and he's suddenly a little boy about to be packed off to school.

And the Lord said unto Eve...

...You silly moo, I’ll never get the smell out of those anchovies now.