A piss up in a brewery

Is on my schedule for tomorrow afternoon. It's a real pity that it's the Young's Brewery. Their beer (even if it's free) is (in my opinion) only slightly less palatable than their website.

Note: Free beer is free beer and I'm still going.

A new musical genre is born

My mate Simon is in a band, "Vavona Burr". He claims that they achieved a level of practice last night somewhere between Black Sabbath and Nirvana. Now, Simon is rather well known, at least to myself, as being rather adept at being a little economical with the truth (particularly when he's had a couple of pints) but … just in case they managed to get the best bits of Black Sabbath and Nirvana I would just like to say that I knew Simon when he was RUBBISH.

Expectation: 0 Management: 1

So, we all toddled off to the pub at lunchtime for what was billed as, and what I expected to be, a bit of a piss up. We had a couple of drinks (in the literal sense) and toddled back to work, decidedly un-pissed. Why do I feel a little bit cheated by this prick-teasing non-event? That'll learn me! Aim low Steve, avoid disappointment.

A wee problem with insurance or an insurance problem with wee

Cathy took Sam to the local greetings card shop to buy an advent calendar. Underwhelmed by the lack of choice they picked one and took it to the counter, cold hard cash in hand. Suddenly, as is wont to happen with little boys, Sam decided that he wanted a wee wee: right now! Cathy smiled that kind of parent smile and asked if he could use their toilet. "Sorry, we're not insured for that." Was the reply. With no money or advent calendars changing hands, Cathy marched Sam out of the shop to have a wee against their wall. I'm often caught short on my way home from the pub on a Friday night after several pints of best real ale and could, with a short detour, pass the local greetings card shop, mwhahahahahah!

Le rumour du jour

Apparently, the French National Anthem is, alledgedly, British and is believed to have been stolen by the French. It was, I'm told, originally written by our very own Sir John Lennon. It's not the first time that they have nicked something British and claimed it as their own. Take the English Channel for example. They don't even have their own word for "baguette".

Disclaimer: neveratossBlog accepts no reponsibility for historical or factual inaccuarcies in helping Jann to perpetuate this (or any other) rumour. This information may or may not have been believed or not believed to have been correct or incorrect at the time of going or not going to press or not.

In memory of old wossname

So, I rang Cathy to tell her that I had booked a beer or three with Toni for tomorrow night. She reminded me that she had already booked tomorrow night to go out with her mate Emma and that I was sitting on Sam. I told Toni that I couldn't make tomorrow night and that it would have to be next week. Then, Simon asked if I fancied a beer this week. I said that I was free tomorrow night. Then, I told Cathy that I was arranging a beer or three with Simon for tomorrow night. Cathy (patiently) reminded me that she had already booked tomorrow night to go out with Emma, that I was sitting on Sam and that she had already told me this. I need a beer, is anyone free tomorrow night?