Pelvic power lifting

I heard about this in an article on BBC Radio Four yesterday about "viral advertising". I feel that I should share it with you. It is NOT safe for work but it made me chuckle.

Give us a sign, oh Lord!

On my way home last night there was a large electronic sign warning of an accident on the A3 southbound. Now there are approximately 50 miles of southbound A3 between the sign and Portsmouth for the accident to have happened (been caused) in. What's the point of several thousand pounds of electronic sign if it doesn't actually give you enough information?

And, whilst we're on the subject, why do you all drive up each other's arses when it's pissing it down? I T'‘ S D A N G E R O U S!

Ying and yang

A couple of posts ago I mentioned that three beers a day causes short term wossname loss. Don't despair dear reader, there is an antidote. Marvellous!

It's official

My wife is officially a lightweight when it comes to drinking. She used to be able to reduce grown men to babbling drunken wrecks: now she has a couple of gin and tonics and spends the next day throwing up in her dressing gown. I arrived home after a hard round of golf yesterday afternoon, expecting my dinner to be on the table, to find a very shabby looking Cathy, her face the shade of translucent blue usually reserved for Scotsmen and a half starved, feral Sam running riot. What a shambles, I had to send her to bed.