What’s your beef?

Daddy, what's beef made of?
Well, erm... we get beef from cows.
So, cows make beef.
Erm... not exactly, cows are beef.
Do we eat cows?
Well... yes.
Doesn't that hurt the cows?
No.
Why?
Because we kill them first.
Oh, (munch, munch, munch).
.
.

Daddy, what are cows made of?
Grass!

The Open Source Diet

OK Lard Arse, listen up – Here's an Open Source Diet, A diet that guarantees weight loss and promotes well being. This diet is free, as in "free speech" rather than "free pies, chips, sausages and chocolate". There are no books, no gimmicks, no subscriptions, no embarassing weigh-ins (one at a time please fatso!) and no gopping food subsitutes.

This diet will NOT cost you a penny! In fact it will save you a fortune.

You wanna lose weight…

EAT LESS FOOD, TAKE MORE EXERCISE!

But you knew that already! Didn't you?