It's for chiridy

When I worked "up London" I used to have to run the gauntlet of chuggers in Hammersmith High Street every lunchtime on the way to the pub. All busy [not] saving one eyed, lexdistic, lesbian, single parent whales by hassling people for their bank account details then skimming 25% off every donation. Now they've hit the stockbroker belt town of Esher. So, I'm going to have a tee shirt printed, in large shouty capital letters, with the caption, "No, fek off, you antipodean, hippy twat, I don't have a few spare minutes, no you can't have my bank account details and I hate Wales!"

Europe's five worst child killers

Quite a chilling read, especially as most of them seem to be avoidable.

Prepare for a career in IT

When we said we needed it by the first week in July, we meant 9:00m on Monday NOT 5:00pm on Friday. One of the features of a "career" in IT is unrealistic, constantly shifting or badly communicated deadlines, these students have just experienced it for the first time. Get used to it kids.

Designs on design

The current look and feel of neveratossBlog was just a "toe in the water" of web design, CSS and such. I drew ideas from the CSS Zen Garden and various other sources when coming up with the design and cobbling together the style sheet. GordonMac, a recent reader of neveratossBlog, is a web designer, he has a beautifully designed site with loads of handy links to web design related sites. I can feel a spot of web design dabbling coming along around these parts. If you're interested in web design, go have a look.

Increase your word power #2

So, little Johnny is in class and the teacher says, "Who can give me a word with three syllables ?". Little Johnny's hand shoots up in the air. "Me miss, me miss, me miss!" says Johnny. "Alright Johnny, I'm sure that I'll regret this but off you go". "Contagious miss, that's got three syllables". "Very good Johnny, now can you give me a sentence using the word contagious?" "My dad saw our neighbour cutting the lawn with a pair of scissors and said, that's going to take that contagious".

Increase your word power #1

So, little Johnny is in class and the teacher says, "Who can give me a word with three syllables ?". Little Johnny’s hand shoots up in the air. "Me miss, me miss, me miss!" says Johnny. "Alright Johnny, I'm sure that I'll regret this but off you go". "Urinate miss, that's got three syllables". "Very good Johnny, now can you give me a sentence using the word urinate?" Johnny replies, "My dad says urinate miss, but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten."

Pass the blogroll

A few new blogrollers over there -->. Have a look.

A talking dog

"How are you feeling Rover?", "Ruff!". "What does sandpaper feel like Rover?", "Ruff!". Well, not quite, but a dog with the vocabulary of a three year old according to this. I bet it can't say, "I want a big blue mountain bike" over and over again in a nasal, whingy, whiney kind of a voice.

Press red for interactive jigglecam

Why is it always the fat ugly blokes who take their shirts off at football matches? There are plenty of attractive young women interested in the game these days, why don't they take their shirts off and jump up and down? A fifteen all draw between Denmark and Italy would be a pleasure to watch. Come on ladies, it is called "the beautiful game" after all.

Oh, and put your shirt back on fatso!

Crunch, squelch, tweet, yuk!

I wasn't really looking where I was going this morning as I went to opened the gate at the side of the house. There was a crunchy, squelchy kind of a feeling underneath my right bike boot. I looked down to find the remains of a tiny, featherless House Martin chick, I looked up to see an adult House Martin looking down from the eaves. I felt very bad until I spotted the other, un-squelched, chick laying dead on the path.

Self preservation society

On the way to the supermarket at lunchtime I spotted a group of three motorcyclists, on fairly big bikes, at the main traffic lights in Esher. Two of them were dressed in jeans and tee shirts, none of them were wearing gloves. The lights changed and they haired off down the busy high street. If you fall or get knocked off a motorbike even at thirty miles per hour you will probably wear your hands, elbows, hips and knees down to the bone and beyond. This will HURT! You don’t need to be a plastic surgeon to know this. Wear some leather, lots of leather!

In the spirit of Dick Turpin

Petrol, 82 pence per litre, I don’t like it but I can live with it. Water £1.49 per 500ml, I do like it and I can’t live without it. NeveratossBlog would like to name and shame Welcome Break services on the M40 as a bunch of robbing bastards, go on, deny it! They used to hang people for highway robbery for fucks sake! Now they give them nation-wide franchises. A quick google and I found a site giving information about alternatives within five minutes of motorway junctions.