One in the eye for dirty old men

According to this article over at the new improved Billyworld, a ten minute eyeful is worth half an hour in the gym. The only bit I’m bothered about is the fact that it reduces the chance of a stroke. What’s the point in copping an eyeful if you can’t have a stroke?

Prhiday Phunny Photos..

This one from Yorkshiresoul and this from Grom both appealed to the ex military side of me and made me chuckle.

I haven’t had a traffic rant for a while so...

On roundabouts: You must give way to traffic already on the roundabout. Even motorcycles you myopic twat!

On diesel: It is considered impolite by most motorcyclists to spill diesel all over the road, particularly tight corners. Next time you march on London whinging about the price of the stuff, even though you get a huge subsidy, you might consider throwing less of it on the road.

On indicating: The Highway Code says that you should indicate if it would be of benefit to other road users. Five minutes indicating that you are planning to pass a parked car is pointless; most road users will be able to figure out that you will pass the car. A single blip of the indicator half way through a manoeuvre is a waste of time, especially when executing an unplanned lane change in a 32 ton truck.

On motorways: There are three lanes on UK motorways, don’t take my word for it, count them. Lane three, the one nearest the central reservation is not reserved for people doing 60mph, even if you are driving a sports car with the top down. A simple rule of thumb here, if the lane to your left is clear, you should be in it.

Right that's it...

.. I'm off to play golf.

Lunchtime in the pub

The discussion turned to cloning. Tad says "I could never make a clone of me, I’d never be able to trust the cnut!"

nuff said.

Passing the time of day

When leaving the car park at 8:30 this morning I said a cheery "Good Morning" to the old chap who was sweeping up. He looked up from his broom, took his fag out of his mouth and said "It was when I got up!" Have a nice day you miserable old bugger, I was only trying to be pleasant.

Where’s Billyworld?

Billy (the world wide web warrior) has relocated his blog from here to here, he has redesigned it, updated, started using capital letters and most importantly now has an RDF feed so you can syndicate to him.

Phew wot a scorcher!

It’s supposed to be the hottest day since hot days began today. I just rode past a bus stop where there was a young Goth waiting for the bus. He was wearing black leather trousers and a full length black leather trench coat. I obviously don’t understand Goths but I do understand that leather clothing is very uncomfortable in a heatwave.

Phew wot a bargain!

My bike is sporting brand new Bridgestone BT010 tyres this morning. I scrubbed them in on the way home last night and had a ball this morning riding in. The chicken stripe is getting thinner and thinner. Last year I was quoted around £250.00 per pair of tyres fitted by a couple of places near work so asked around and did some research. Malcom Cox’s Tyres R Us (no website unfortunately) in Eastleigh near Southampton fits a pair of the same tyres for £180.00. That’s £70.00 in my pocket to spend on mojitos and curry. So, if you need new bike tyres, get yourself to Southampton and save loadsamoney!

The Mimail worm

Watch out for this worm which comes attached to an email from admin@youraddress.com warning that your email address is about to expire and to read the message in the attached file. Don't do it. I had three of them in my inbox last night when I got home, all with lovely attachments on. I consigned all three of them to the bin. More information from Symantec.

Be warned.

Gizza job, go on, gizzit!

Will work for money, I gotta feed my little boy. It’s official, I’m looking for a new job, a refurbished job or even an old job. Anyone out there with an iSeries (AS400) and in need of a sweeper up, junior programmer, programmer, analyst, business analyst, team leader, project leader or just someone to blame when it all goes wrong my CV is over there on the right.

From the mouths of babes...

Cathy and Sam were walking along the street yesterday, the vicar ws behind them. Sam turned and said “Look Mummy, a funny man” quickly followed by “I not like him!”.