What if...

George Bush was a woman. Or even John Kerry.

You may want to turn up the volume.

I would just like to point out

That Tilesey is a knob head for almost chopping his own hand off with a machete just to avoid Swiss Toni's stag do this weekend.

I would also like to point a very important stag do rule lifted directly from the great Jann Herlihy.

Any Man who brings a camera to a stag party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

The ultimate deterrent

neveratossMan has been out on patrol on the means streets of Esher this lunchtime. The criminal element were conspicuous by their absence. Go ahead ma'am, it's safe to wear those shoes with that twin set.

NeveratossMan – Superhero or middle class chavist?

I'll set the scene. I was in the queue at the bank at lunchtime waiting to pay in a cheque. At the first window was a man, early middle age, early middle class: he was withdrawing a large amount of cash (£10,000.00 or so). At the next window was a teenage chav, Adidas shorts, T-shirt and cap, trainers, no socks and an electronic tag proudly displayed around his ankle: he was attempting to pay money into an account which was not in his name with no ID, all he had was a surname and a post code. The man was unaware of the chav, the chav and his three mates, who were waiting in the wings, were very aware of the man. The chav concluded his business and hurried off into a huddle with his mates, shifty glances were sent in the direction of the man. I grabbed the man and suggested that he think about his next move: he did and stayed in the bank. The chavs were skulking outside the bank as I left. So, did I prevent a mugging or did I demonstrate some kind of Daily Mail reader prejudice based on what the chav was wearing? Should I make myself an outfit and wear my trollies outside my tights or should I be ashamed of myself for displaying blatant chavism? Should I simply have said sod it, it's not my business?