How odd

What are the odds of accidentally typing the word "typo"? I have an independent witness what saw me do it your honour!

For the record

I received quite a lot of hits from people in the States yesterday, some of whom left very nice comments. There were also some comments which make me think that I may have represented myself as being pro war. My post about making war an Olympic sport was written before yesterday's bombs in London and was intended to be a tongue in cheek reference to the fact that we Brits have been traditionally very good at it. It turned out to be in rather bad taste.

So, for the record, I am against war and all the horrors and misery that it brings. In my opinion, war should be the absolute last resort.

Also for the record, I quite like the French, especially because they are so, well, French. Ditto, the Italians in spite of the fact that they’re all so damned well dressed. The same goes for the Germans who get my vote in spite of the many splendid hangovers I have endured in their country. Have I left anyone out?

Finally, I still think that we should put Wales on eBay.

The Bulldog Spirit

Went to the pub at lunchtime to see the latest new on events in London. Three young guys were sitting directly in front of the TV as details of a major terrorist attack on London were emerging – all three avidly reading the Sun's account of the Steven Gerard/Liverpool fiasco.

New Olympic Sport Suggestion

I just rang up Lord Coe to be the first to congratulate him and to nominate a new, typically British, Olympic Sport – War! We're very good at it and the French are, quite frankly, merde! Germany are pretty good but lack a decent finish, the Italians don't quite get the "half time no changing sides" rule and Argentinians are rubbish even when playing at home.

Did I miss anyone out?

Principality for sale

Apparently, winning the right to host the 2012 Olympic Games gives us a perfect opportunity to "Sell Wales". Why don't we just stick it on eBay?

A smeggin' comet

In true Red Dwarf style, there's something out there and we don't understand it – let's get out there and twat it!

Blogger unBguggered

Many thanks to Gordon for publicising the fix.

Camera phwoar!

Whilst nursing a hangover on Saturday I watched quite a lot of TV. It started at 7:45am with the All Blacks drubbing of the Lions, this was followed by the nail biting Nat West Trophy final and finally several hours worth of Live 8. There's a kind of highly skilled, specialist cameraman, present at all of these type of event. He's the guy whose sole job it is to pick out and zoom in on attractive young ladies in the crowd. I could do that job – easy!

An unholy union

I saw an advert on TV which made me wince. It was for Bernard Matthews Turkey Ham. What the hell is Turkey Ham? Is it some kind a mythical beast found lurking in the fens? Is it fake ham made out of turkey? Is it fake turkey made out of ham? Is it the result of one of those drunken young farmers parties up in the wilds of Norfolk? And why the fik would anyone consider eating something so obviously made in a factory from only the finest cuts of toe nail, nose, beak, hair, feathers, tail and arsehole?

For those of you unfamiliar with the diabolical works of Bernard Matthews – You don't know how luck you are.